Lettie Jane’s Intuitive Drawing is a weekly newsletter about making art. This year I am trying to publish 52 newsletters that are each an art lesson of sorts. They are an invitation to draw, if you feel inclined, but also a description of why I do. I encourage you to take what you need and leave the rest.
Greetings friends,
Sometimes when someone asks me how long a piece of artwork took to make I think 42 years. That’s how old I am and I know that I couldn’t have made this piece last year or 10 years ago. Usually, I’m being asked this when something looks labor intensive, but it’s equally true for a drawing that took 10 minutes. I made this now because of practice but also because of the experiences in my life.
I’ve made a lot of drawings and made art (in one form or another) since I was a child. I have struggled to identify as an artist. A huge part of this struggle comes from the desire to be financially self-sufficient and art being seen as an extracurricular luxury. I want to rail against this capitalist approach to life: everything we do shouldn’t have value based on the dollar. But I know money is real, and bills are very very real.
This week I was thinking about the periods of my life when I haven’t made art. For a long time making art felt inevitable. I did it when someone suggested I have an art show, or I wanted to make a zine, or we needed a flyer for something. I may have felt anxious about not making my ideas come to fruition, but also I wanted to throw brunch parties in my backyard.
Backyard Brunch Parties are a part of a painting taking 42 years to make.
I had my kid in 2014 and my relationship to making art changed drastically. It was no longer something I could pick up and put down, ruminate about, or treat casually. I stopped being able to finish anything: books, putting handles on mugs, sentences. I definitely couldn’t finish a painting.
Time feels surreal but I can dig through emails and/or photos and find timestamps made by computers for what was going on in my life. I have the internal story: making art after Nicky was born was hard. I know I felt like I was drowning, but I can also see that I was buoyed by wonderful friends and tending a garden. I felt a new financial burden after having a kid (I had to provide for more than one month at a time!) and my relationship to time changed (anything that needed to get done, must get done during a nap or after bedtime). Most of all, I think I was having a crisis of identity.
Hindsight is always 50/50 and I can construct a story at that time about how I stopped making art and it was hurting my soul, how I didn’t know how to be a mom. It was probably more complicated than that. I know sought out the Intuitive Healer Liliana Barzola. I had seen her once before during my pregnancy.
This was one of those pivotal moments in my life and the advice she gave me set in motion a new trajectory. Roughly speaking her advice was:
Get childcare: do a nanny share, trade babysitting, do anything to have 1-2 hours a week to yourself.
She gave me the contact information of a couples therapist I saw with my partner for a year before we ended our relationship. (I love and value Nicky’s dad to this day and am grateful to share parenting duties with him).
She told me to seek out the most successful artist I knew and ask them for advice.
At that time this was
. Kate is a beacon of creativity and generosity and I know I am probably one of thousands of people who credit her with helping their life or career at some point. Kate, you are a miracle.In true Lettie-Jane-fashion I was late to meet with her and missed half of our carved-out hour, but this was still a milestone. Maybe less because of the very valuable and realistic advice she gave me (artists often make a living from varied and multiple streams of income), and more from the fact that I reached out to someone I looked up to and made myself vulnerable by saying I wanted to be a professional artist.
Saying what you want out loud is terrifying. The impulse to make art is real. It is okay to be an artist! It is often undervalued or criticized. It feels like it’s not worthwhile if you don’t make money from it, get likes on social media or if it takes you 10 minutes (even when it really took you 42 years).
It took you [insert your age here] years to make that drawing because making art is processing life. I couldn’t have made that drawing for you and neither could anyone else.
If you have an insatiable desire to make art—to draw or throw pots, write poetry or fill a room with lights and sound—please keep doing it. It doesn’t need to be pretty, it doesn’t need to be right, it doesn’t even always need to bring you joy. Know that you can stop and start many times and you will still be an artist. Know that you don’t have to make money (but you can!) that you don’t need to take photos (but it helps your scrambled brain to reflect) and that it doesn’t have to be good. Keep doing it, stay curious, listen to the voice inside that says but I just want to make art and honor it.
Until next week.
Much love,
Lettie Jane
And Then Some Tidbits
Reyna Tropical’s new album is beautiful. They say on the album that the word “Malegrîa” means you are sad, but also happy, how to dance off sadness.
I finished the second half of Ann Patchett’s These Precious Days this week, it was interesting to remember 2020 in a visceral way through her last essays.
I finished the short short-story collection Tomorrow in Shanghai by May-Lee Chai and absolutely loved the last story The Nanny. It’s a wild sci-fi story about a Chinese woman working on Mars to pay off her son’s debts.
The art show at Chefas Projects in Portland right now is so lovey. I love Nicole Wilford’s paintings from vintage photos.
Classes, Etc.
My art show, Messy Bodies, is up for 2 months, check it out at Albina Press, 5012 SE Hawthorne Blvd. These sweeties are for sale, email me if you are interested in purchasing one of them.
Tarot Reading!!! I will be reading tarot cards for Seagrape Apothecary’s 15th birthday. 2823 NE Sandy Blvd / Sunday, April 21, 3:00 - 6:00 pm
You can sign up here: Seagrape’s Bday (I updated the link if you tried it before and saw no sign ups, there should be plenty now).
Take a class at Ulna.
Friday Night Figure Drawing (Apr 19)
$50.00
Date: Friday, April 19th
Time: 5:30-8:30
Take a class with me AND YOUR KID at Mudland.
Ages 6-teen + adult
$24
APR 21
2 hours 30 minute
Take a class with me at Sitka Center for Art and Ecology
$230
September 21, 2024 - September 22, 2024
Listen to LINE TIME, a monthly podcast and art lesson I helped create.
Bun Updates
This week’s wisdom from Jiji: only show as much of yourself as you want to.
Hindsight is always 20/20!!! 🙃
I just love to read your news letter. I don't think of my self as an artist. Maybe a creative, that does feel really me but a part that was never valued. Sharing your story is speaking truth to power. It is great. Keep it up.